But All Boys Are Bad

2006-09-15T21:49:00.002+08:00

2006-09-15T21:49:00.001+08:00

2006-09-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

2006-09-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

2006-09-11T23:01:00.000+08:00

2006-09-10T13:20:00.000+08:00

2006-06-21T23:33:00.000+08:00

I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE.

WILL LET YOU GUYS KNOW.

2006-04-06T20:29:00.000+08:00

and i miss those days.

2006-04-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

dex and dar

2006-03-15T10:55:00.000+08:00

i've never had someone been so protective of us as a church. truely i know that i can run to them when i've got problems and they will always be there.
more than just figureheads, more than just friends, more than just leaders, more than just parents, more than just angels who watch over me. for these and so much more.

i love my pastors.

2006-03-06T02:06:00.000+08:00

WAHAHHA.

2006-03-02T22:44:00.000+08:00

yay?

2006-02-27T00:09:00.000+08:00

WOW. what a week it has been. everything's great and things are really exploding in DZONE! gen-X was great!

i guess i've been mia-ing for so long that i dont know where to start. actually i've got alot to say when something happens at a certain time of the day but then im just too lazy or rather dont have the opportunity and the liberty like some of you to idle around on the computer while at work and bother to blog out something like that. i mean even mundane things like "iwakeupwashmyfacebrushteeth" can be found on people's blogs. seems like they've got really too much time.

firstly, i've never felt this before. but one normal day, just sitting at the back of bible study, a normal sermon (well you all know there is no such thing as a normal day in church) it hit me so hard inside my head that pastors know me so much more than i know them. at first i was like so elated that yay pastors acknowledge my presence. LIKE BIG DEAL. then the holy spirit spoke to me and i knew cos he asked me " do you know them?(pastors)" and i'm really challenged that in the next coming months im going to get to know my pastors so much more better! pastor said he will be coming down to my secondary sch and said he will contact me. AMAGASH! its like meeting charlie's angel's charlie. nevermind.

but you know all the things i've done i really want to do it for God. i've never been so busy before and i find everything just so new and exciting. but then during leader's meeting i really thought of what dom said and it was to keep this passion burning years down the road when we're leading a bigger team, the same passion and desire. newness and freshness. sounds so much like opening a packet of potato chips and having that crispy crunch.

second thing, ZONE restructuring. not that i'm blown out of my wits but really i'm not afraid anymore. i know i've got the whole zone, leaders, esmonde, dom, pastors and God behind me all the way. it's just so reassuring when your leaders leave msgs like "i believe in you" and it really gives me that encouragement to step out in faith and say "lets just GO FOR IT" thing's are gonna be great.

another thing, is that while times may be so smooth sailing for me right now and everything i'm bound to have some bumps and hiccups along my way and im sure when those times come i'll still hold on to daddy God and keep steadfast in his spirit and trudge on. when right now its so easy for me to say I LOVE JESUS because everything's sailing like a cruise ship. but when i hit troubled waters and cares of this world toss me aside i'm going to stay rooted. now that im leading people i cant afford to rock the boat.

and i really am gonna miss D1 so much. you guys are the best. really gotta thank so many people and everything. especially ks and esmonde. when esmonde's upped another level i really got to follow suit too.

thirdly, today i prayed for KL and he got SAVED! that really got me so happy. at first i was kinda nervous. J i think you know that. but then i started to pray in the spirit and ask the holy spirit for help and i really felt this tingly warmness in my ears as i started praying over KL and the presence of God really came. right there in the middle of the audi where the noises of the after-church crowd was still fluttering by our ears from the cafe and random zigzags of CGLs rushing around. still in the midst of everything i found God and i said lord "this soul is your's today" and all i can do is just marvel at you lord for all you've done.

Dzone. we're gonna push and break through. actually we already did la but lets breakthrough our breakthrough. err that's too cheam? THINK BIG.
cant wait for mission trip!

2006-02-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

to my valentine.

whose love never fails me.

I LOVE YOU JESUS.

2006-02-09T00:02:00.000+08:00

actually blogging quite gay ah. HAHA but nevermind its therapeutic.
its 2 more days to my Os results. seriously can't wait. i might go to poly or maybe stay in jc. imagine your whole life and career path contricted to those numbers you get on a measly piece of paper with a stamp.

anyway grams' not really in a very good state. she's might got cancer and its getting to her. her lungs filled with water and all. went down to SGH and it was just very very depressing to walk around the building with rows and rows of beds that rested thousands of people's last. sometimes you walk pass this family and you see them smiling and yea you know everything's alright. then sometimes you can't help but notice as you glance past the hallways as you peek into the wards and find glum and downcast expressions.

sadly that was the case for my family, it's hard when my own p5 cousin who stayed with grams for all her life can't even recognise that frail old lady on the bed and she just broke into tears when she realised that it was grandma looking all broken and debilitated. yea it was like a sucker punch in your face when reality hits you that hard. having to hold her up when she wanted to shift the pillow on her back or if she wanted to sit up was a challenge in itself.

say im no stranger to having to visit the hospital and witness people literally falling apart in front of my very eyes. i've seen my grand dads practically having SGH as their second homes and my old man was warded at one time with a life treatening illness. Although i may think i've seen all of it. im totally wrong. its the times like this that i always question why and challenge God. its pain to see someone else suffer and the worst thing of all is that you cant do anything except try to attend to every need the person has.

in these times i realise that i can do more than tryin to help, instead i can pray and be there for my family around me too. well why do people suffer? simple. we live in a fallen world. but there's going to be more than just suffering. it's in this times that i seek God and learn to thank him through the good times and the bad. God's plans are perfect. in ways that we may never understand.

I want to be there for my grandma. i just want to get my Os result in time and come running to her and showing her how i've done my best and i just want her to be so proud of me again. like when i was a lil kid and i could show off how i could cycle on two wheels. i guess we all have what is given to us and with what we have and every second we should live it to the fullest. i know daddy God is watchin her right now. i'll say a lil prayer and i'll try not to keep awake tonight.

2006-02-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

okay im bored. very. must blog.

today some peeps came over my place to watch narnia. namely. dexter, mervyn, charlotte, ruo en and yolanda. went to buy ice cream opp my house but it was so hard to find ben n jerry's. poor ruo en had to walk with me in the scorching heat just for ice cream. so anway went to ntuc, dont have. so walk all the way to 7 eleven. also dont have. at this point we're like really exasperated. then when we went back to ntuc to look for chips. dont have. so i couldnt be bothered to walk back to 7eleven to look for ruffles anymore. so headed back home with prata and 2 tubs of kings ice cream instead. okay this entry is pretty much a no brainer.

made popcorn. which was like eating, (use your imagination) styrofoam, and lots of butter. apparently its a hit in my church. anw i dont know what else to say cos im so bored. hmm okay there's this pug jelly gig at pavillion. i've got 3 ppl trying to sell me tics. all at presale price. i dont mind going but the catch is you need an 88 id. welll that can be solved rather easily but i dont intend on going wo my mates too. anyone interested?

oh and yah results. yay cant wait. 3 days and 15 more hours ya'll!

2006-02-02T22:36:00.000+08:00

4 more days.

2006-02-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

cousins.

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2006-02-02T22:04:00.000+08:00

cousin.

2006-02-02T22:03:00.000+08:00

erm whatever.

2006-02-02T22:02:00.000+08:00

cny.

2006-02-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

the cow family.

2006-01-31T12:17:00.000+08:00

look what popped up in my email.

2006-01-31T12:16:00.000+08:00

NEW FRIEND REQUEST. can ev this guy and bring him to church! (later to only realise much to my disappointment that i would then be inviting ultraman to church)

2006-01-31T12:15:00.000+08:00

i was thinking who would wanna put his name as ULTRAMAN. o.O

2006-01-31T12:14:00.000+08:00

went to look at his profile. got 24 friends somemore.

2006-01-31T12:13:00.000+08:00

i figured i should take a look at his pics maybe he'll be someone familiar and so i found out the harsh reality CRAZY people who have no life like him added me.

2006-01-23T02:13:00.000+08:00

did i mention?

I LOVE CHURCH!!!

okay i just had to get it out of my system.

2006-01-14T01:25:00.000+08:00

so yea my OG's not that bad. OG 28. rock on man.
crazy bunch but they're really funny. outing's on thursday at holland v. its gonna be mayhem.

so jc's life's not that fantastic as it was portrayed to be. very over-rated. orientation aint anything fantastic. probably most guys or girls havent been around the opposite sex enough that they feel so excited of prospects of actually having something called a female/male as a dance partner. trainings been sucky as usual rainy days, mud, smells and wet boots.

2006 kinda got off to a bad start for me. but who cares really. i live my life for God and i have so much desire to really see that my friends are saved and that i will be able to serve God abundantly giving Him the best years of my life and not the leftovers.

went down to NJC to crash their finale. was really funny to see nerds dancing and making a fool of themselves. probably 90% of them have not actually gone clubbing lah. so say they're just acting out what they think is dancing cos they've seen it on tv. but it was cool. i managed to see my cuz, vicky. man i love her to bits. and managed to find my sheep bah bah bah dancing with this girl. aiya, ngiam ah. anw it was good. i guess he must have felt smt cos after that he called me back to ask to go for supper. which was the first time in history that nicol ngiam has ever called darrell low. jjj told me that no matter how big or small the intg was or what the outcome, it was always worth it to try. at least we know we did it and no effort is too small. i guess i can only continue to pray and seek God's guidance in the things that i do and carry out.

i aint looking forward to school in SAJC seriously. the principal stinks and the teachers just suck. i've heard so much from the J2s and the graduates that i really dont know if i wanna stay here anymore. but if not for my friends at SAJC i'd be gone someplace else.

oh well, things are just gonna get better. this year's gonna be a year of reconcilation. a year of building on and no more breaking up. im glad God's always there to pick me up when i fall. its now my turn to be there to people who need God. when i looked into the crowd in nj, the music and the beat of the bass just faded away and i realise that these youths were just dancing with no aim nor purpose. without any sign of them being aware of what they were doing was really really foolish in some ways. sure it may be fun. but there's gotta be more to life than just another temporary high.

people need God. they just dont know it.

so who's gonna be the one to tell them?

2006-01-07T17:43:00.000+08:00

streets of holland

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2006-01-07T17:38:00.002+08:00

2006-01-07T17:38:00.001+08:00

streets of paris.

2006-01-07T17:38:00.000+08:00

vatican

2006-01-07T17:37:00.002+08:00

not just another destination.

2006-01-07T17:37:00.001+08:00

2006-01-07T17:37:00.000+08:00

saints in stone.

2006-01-07T17:36:00.000+08:00

2005-12-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

i did not know the beauty that awaited, behind barriers which only my sense of sight could behold; and yet still, i could feel the piercing cold and snowfall from inside as we ploughed on at 90km/h.

2005-12-07T01:19:00.000+08:00

Rules of the game:1. post 5 weird/random stuff abt yourself. 2. at the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want next to do this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules!

1. i like oranges with salt.
2. i feel like puking when i smell coffee cakes and lotsa aritificially flavoured candy.
3. i have this compulsive disorder of arranging my books and make sure they're neatly layed out or stacked on top of each other in order of subject.
4. i eat my oreo biscuits and take out the cream side.
5. i try my best not to crumble my soya beancurd when i eat it. it's gotta be flawless and smooth.

i duno i just got weird eating habits. i dont know why i could only think of these things.
THANKS JOYCE FOR TAGGING ME AND MAKING ME IT.
okay the next 5 people.

1. JJJ
2. Dexter
3. Yolanda
4. Victoria
5. Gloria

dear girl

2005-11-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

please dont cry. I know you've said "dont leave me now, we've come so far" but you know, things really would not be so bad. i know you must have thought if you heard me right when i said the things i said today; that maybe this may not be happening. Your heart cried out "dont let go on us tonight." i heard it, and it was difficult for me to have to see you like that.
the nights are gonna get cold, the days are gona seem empty. im gonna miss you like shit. but i know that we're better off this way. as the scripts are being rewritten and the crossroads of our lives go their seperate ways, i'll never forget to stop and remember the times when we were together. i dont wanna leave on a sour note, quarrelling with a parting shot that's gonna hurt the both of us even more. i know the next few days will tear you inside out. i never meant for that and i'm sorry.
above and beyond all my pathetic apologies, i wanna thank you so much for all that you've done for me. that yea i knew what innocent love was. something that you gave me from day one which i can feel. i'm your first and i understand all the insecurities and needs that you have. i'm just not adequate enough to fill that gap. the void which only God can fill. but there are things which just led to my decisions and choices that i make and you know i would not do something like that without any validation. Maybe i did spoil you abit too much. and you might think that all your shortcoming could not have justified why i am doing this.
maybe i never did feel like i was the greatest guy in your life. i know you always thought that i was though. i know i aint as cute as you wanted me to be but still you did love me too. but i could sense that a cuter guy would suit you more. underneath all that i know i was abit too harsh on you the last month esspecially during my Os where i just needed someone to be there for me but not distracting me. yea what a selfish thought that was. but it was really hard. the times when i said goodnight to you at 2am so that i could do my work and study knowing that you're sound asleep. i just could not study in peace having you at the back of my mind when you ask me to call you back later after i've studied. i'm sorry for the times i had to lie to you to make sure you would go to sleep early.
you know that you still mean alot to me, so dont hold this agasint chrisitianity or anything which im sure you wldnt. if it is, it's me that you should.
i know we'll be best friends, fate has it's own place and time. if things are meant then we should wait till we are ready for each other. but right now let our priorities in life be God. so that we can have the same goals and visions; working together towards it. yea they say that you got to be cruel to be kind. love's not always black and white i suppose. things will be alright. no matter how much i know ure gonna cry while reading this dont forget to remember that there are things in your life that are worth so much more that you ever imagined. and that there are so many people who love you and care for you. i mean what i say so please dont dismiss this because i know how much you mean to God and to the people around you. you're gonna be strong and stand tall. be a woman of confidence and of God. let your life be an example to the people around you.
i better stop now before i short circuit the keyboard with trickles from my eyes. that the greatest lesson you ever taught me was that everybody deserves a second chance. Suwan, thank you so much for loving me. but save your love for the times and the person who would be more deserving of your love. i am sorry. but you'll be alright. lets move on and get on with life. living it for Jesus. i really do pray that God will be real in your life and that you will know that you are his child, that you are blessed with alot too. smile pretty girl. dont cry and save your tears for things worth crying over. anything you know who to call.

After all this time I never thought we'd be here.
when my love for you was blind but
I couldn't make you see that I loved you more than you'll ever know.
A part of me died when I let you go.

but pray. life's gonna be amazing with Jesus around.
smile girl. hugs.

aftereffectsofliterature.

2005-11-07T18:12:00.000+08:00

i'm totally abadoned to You,
i'm lost inside the rivers of Your love.
i'm swept into the powers of Your presence,
drawn towards the whisper of Your voice.

i come to You in quiet adoration,
and fall before Your feet; you are my king.
I'm living for the beauty of Your presence,
to behold the glory of Your face. ..

here i am in the midst of exams. blogging. somewhat therapeutical effect? maybe.
Emath, SS. i shouldn't say it was a breeze for both but anyhow, it was good. going for As for both subjects. false hope or blind faith jjj?

aside, i lost my pencil * (i duno what you call it because it's certainly not a box nor a case) just before ss paper which caused me to panic somewhat. had no choice but to borrow writting material instead. i was rather upset about it; the feeling you get when you think you know where something is but you're not really sure? that, kinda bugged me. had to focus myself though the thought plagued me like an itch, no not bitch.
like that scab you just got to scratch, "itchy hand" and tease the satisfaction from that sadistic urge of peeling it off. so much like how i got this tendency to wanna "pop" those bubble wraps. like peas in your rice, like candy floss on your shirt, like bubblegum on your shoe, like spinach in your braces. yeah, that tragic. oh the feeling.
i'm gonna get it tomorrow, somehow. so technically it's not lost yet. just not found. hope.

so all those with O levels. tis no time to dispair! why the wimpish excuses of blaming the teacher? rise up! hahahahaha. like what pastor said. take it a notch higher. screwed the paper cos of mrKYM who did not spot venice? my brothers, though i really sympathise with you guys cos i've got such nice friends from stnicks, mgs and sji who enlightened me with "venice must study lah" and sadly you guys dont? move on.. take the next exam literally and metaphorically.

go try pray tell, cos methinks, say oranges with salt are rather nice. quirky nice. quirky is nice.

oh well. study onwards ho! out.

2005-11-01T20:16:00.003+08:00

the crazy things we do on webcam

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2005-10-20T18:54:00.001+08:00

back to work.

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i'll miss this bunch of fags.

2005-10-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

true blue sa culture.

2005-10-20T18:41:00.000+08:00

forget it darrell.

2005-10-20T18:40:00.000+08:00

how's life for some of ya dudes.

2005-10-20T18:39:00.000+08:00

2005-10-20T18:37:00.000+08:00

mom and lilsis

2005-10-20T18:34:00.000+08:00

clockwise frm right. me, elmo, cedric (he's getting married!), karine. josh, sam, samgoh. must hang out some time.

2005-10-20T18:30:00.000+08:00

some time last year. sis was being retarded. bet she wants me to take this pic off.

2005-10-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

haha snoop sent me his pic frm oz. he's the guy in white. think indian with afro. lol. sure he's havin a great time. bastard.

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baybeats. i shldnt have missed this.

2005-10-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

man do i miss these bunch of gays.

2005-10-20T18:25:00.000+08:00

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2005-10-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

tis gonna be my last post till after my Os when i will blog again.
anw it was nice that it was a rainy sunday after so long for a change. weather was rather shabby, clouds always loomed over threatening to pour or it was.

aside. today learnt alot from pastor derek dunn of chc. his accent was so funny cos he's like stayed here for quite some time to even pick up local slangs. even has a wife and two kids. He preached about What Has Your Affections? when this topic was splashed onto the ppt slide i started to really contemplate. kinda like went into my own world although my peripheral vision of the things around me was still aware of the pastor on stage; deep in thought still questioning myself. I know God is supposed to be the centre of our lives, but then things like friends... studies... all still managed to fly pass that virtual image of a screen in my head. So onto the sermon he talked about 1. Setting Our Affections On God. that's basically no1. no denyin that. then went indepth into Deuteronomy 6:5 about loving God with all our heart, soul and mind; about how this is the greatest commandment ever. slowly i began to realise that as the word went on and got a greater understanding. Pastor Derek then went on about how there's no competition when it comes to our love for God. Matthew 10 : 3 about how Jesus said that we got to give up our things that we value the most if we want to follow him and be his disciple. lastly verse that really impacted me which will leave you guys with.

"He that findeth his life shall lose it and he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it"

yupp we spend our whole lives searching for the things we think we want, but never really knowing what we have.

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2005-10-12T11:12:00.000+08:00

Did I hear you right?

Cause I thought you said

Let's think it over

You have been my life

And I never planned

Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light

Where the love once shined so bright

Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight

Love's not always black and white

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears

'cause your only almost here

I would change the world

If I had a chance

Oh won't you let me.

Treat me like a child

Throw your arms around me

please protect me

Bruise and battered by your words

Days are shattered, now it hurts

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you

And when I hold you

You're almost here

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you

I'm close to tears

Cause I know I'm almost here

Only almost here

nice song.

2005-10-09T23:47:00.000+08:00

in the lt the other day..

Luke: darrell you want? i got alot.
waves a packet of biscuits

Me: anything.
luke tosses it down. the packet reads "plain".

stuffs it in my mouth, desperately hungry from the deprivation of food since i skipped reccess..
Me: !$#^% ughh pghhh yuckkk.

thinkin of a way to get rid of it..
looks at the person next to me mugging away.
Me: Clint! you want?
Clint: Wah thanks.. i'm damn hungry!
Me: np man.

Clint devours,
actually, only managing one biscuit.
Clint: wtf is this!? #$@%! tastes like cardboard.
Me: dont ask me, its from Luke. it tastes like shit right?!
Clint: Please lah even shit got taste lor!
Me: rofl?

looks down at packet, looks at shawn brandon sim.
Me and Clint: Shawn you want?!

2005-10-08T16:47:00.000+08:00

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sorry dom i forgot it's name.

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2005-10-08T16:45:00.000+08:00

dad got a new camera for the europe trip which can take black and white pics.

2005-10-08T16:42:00.000+08:00

my cg got a bear for me. thanks ks for choosing... a bear.

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